Despite the widespread proliferation of iphones, blackberries and other state-of-the art¬†devices, concerns over invasions of privacy by the Bush Administration is leading to a¬†Luddite-like return to more primitive modes of communication,¬†including the time-honored “tin can and string.”

While somewhat larger and less chic than the more high-tech hand-held devices, “tin can conversations” are extremely difficult to “bug,” and create no permanent record of communications that can later¬†be “data-mined” by NSA super-computers.

Although the traditional range of these home-made devices was typically no more than 55 feet, newer, mass-produced versions offer strings as long as 55 miles, and come in a variety of colors, including black, gold, hot pink, and for traditionalists, “silver can.”

Apple has announced that it’s coming out with the¬†”iCan” next Spring, which will also double as a device to download music. Unfortunately, the only selection available will be the “can-can” song.

Reportedly, the Bush Administration is seeking ways to overcome such resistance to its secret surveillance programs, and has approached tin can companies to install tiny listening devices on the cans as they roll off the assembly line. 

According to confidential sources, Dick Cheney has stated that the national security of the nation demands that eavesdropping occurs even before the cans are converted to communication devices, when American are merely trying to open up a can of peas.

The Administration is also asking Congress to grant¬†immunity to tin can companies, in a bill entitled “The Teflon¬†Can Act.”¬†¬†However, Connecticut Senator and Democratic Presidential candidate Chris Dodd plans an even more potent filibuster against this infringement of civil liberties, by eating cans of baked beans in the well of the Senate.

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