Fresh off his success with “Live Earth,” Al Gore¬†finally addressed the widespread speculation about his Presidential ambitions, confirming that he would in fact become a candidate, but not until his personal electoral “iceberg” — the South — is completely destroyed by global warming.
In a proclamation that could only be characterized as “Reverse Sherman-like,” Gore stated “I will definitely run, even if not asked, but only if Atlanta burns to the ground.”
The leading spokesman for saving the Earth emphasized that “no longer will my electoral dreams¬†go up in flames because¬†of my own home region.”¬†
Standing before a projector that displayed his latest power point presentation, Gore predicted that the old Confederacy was due to completely conflagrate before the end of this August, thus affording him plenty of time to enter the early primaries.
The former Vice President further assured his supporters that his excess weight would not be an albatross, since the intense heat is also expected to melt at least 30 pounds off his frame.
But Gore¬†cautioned that his campaign could still¬†be “cold-cocked” by Hillary, “since it’s clear¬†she’s as impervious to the¬†warming effect¬†as I am.”
BuzzFlash Editorial: Our Troops Have Not Failed: Bush and Cheney Have Failed Our Troops.
John Amato on Firefighters going after Rudy with new video.
August Alexander at PDB, on “Gut Feeling.”¬†
Lisa Casey’s Cutting off the Dick.
This Just In…¬†Dan Kurtzman’s¬†roundup of the latest political insanity.