Just when Democrats thought they had Karl Rove in their cross-hairs, a rumor spread like wildfire across the Capitol today that Kyle Sampson, Alberto Gonzales’ former chief aid, is actually a clone of Karl Rove.

Congressional Democrats expressed mortification that Rove clones might already be implanted across the federal bureaucracy, therefore effecting a permanent takeover of the government, and potentially negating a Democratic victory in the ’08 Presidential election.

One Democratic operative, speaking anonymously, offered the opinion that the government would be better off run by clones of Dolly the sheep.

Indeed, Al Gore, in his Congressional testimony, acknowledged that “Rove global clonings” might well present a bigger threat than even global warming:

“the blossoming of Turd Blossoms will surely do more damage to the planet than the melting of the polar ice caps. I would therefore propose either a tax or cap on Rove clonings, or if that doesn’t work, simply putting Rove in a lock-box.”

Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton was particularly non-plussed by these rumors, asserting that if she knew then what she knows now, she would have voted against the President’s¬†authority¬†to finance even limited¬†stem cell research. “Who could anticipate that the President would abuse that¬†authority¬†to perpetuate ills instead of curing them, by creating a mutant race of Roves.”¬†

Consequently, when Mr.¬†Sampson appears before Congress this week to testify on the “fired prosecutors” scandal, he is expected not only to take an oath, but to give blood samples for DNA testing.

In related news, suspicions have arisen that the right-wing has also successfully cloned Pat Buchanan, since it seems that he manages to appear on every single cable news station simultaneously.

Indeed, by one “conservative” estimate, there might already be more Pat Buchanans in the country than illegal immigrants.

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Bush takes the Fifth, at All Hat No Cattle.

Norm Jenson with Olbermann on DeLay.

Michael Ware on McCain’s¬†Iraq Delusions, at Crooks & Liars.

Rory O’Connor at BuzzFlash: Time to Change The ‘Back Channel.’

The Other Justice Problem, at Firedoglake.