“The Lost Tomb of Jesus‚Äù — the James Cameron documentary claiming that the remains of Jesus may have been found — has¬†Christian¬†theologians¬†in¬†full panic mode, trying to exorcise¬†doubts about the¬†Resurrection, and thus the entire basis of Christianity.¬† As one high-placed source at the Vatican asked:

“What If They Gave a Religion …¬†and the Prophet Actually¬†Showed Up?”

As widely reported, the ossuaries found buried under a Jerusalem suburb contain the names of Jesus, Mary, Mary Magdalene and Judah, as well as Matthew and Joseph, who, according to the filmmakers, were brothers of Jesus. 

But the final “nail in the coffin” is the inscription on one¬†ossuary which reads:¬†“Fido of Nazareth, Dog of the Son of the Lord,” which statisticians say is “a million-to-one shot, or seven million-to-one in dog statistics.”

The George W. Bush evangelical base is¬†taking it particularly hard. In a cruel irony,¬†four years after¬†chemical weapons failed to materialize in Iraq, it turns out that the Middle East is yielding chemical DNA that wasn’t supposed to be there.

Many religious figures are fighting mad,¬†denigrating the documentary as¬†literally incredible. As the Reverend Jerry Falwell stated: “Do you really expect rational people –¬†who accept that Jesus walked on water, turned water into wine and physically ascended to heaven — to believe such fantastic, Alice-in-Wonderland¬†theories?”

Similarly, the Catholic League’s William Donohue is¬†doing his best to defend the faith against the “Christian-bashers”: “Who you gonna’ believe, the Pope or your lyin’ eyes.”

This religious bombshell is also having a dramatic impact on the current Presidential race.¬†While John¬†Edwards has apologized for being baptized as a Christian, Hillary Clinton merely stated that “had I known then what I know now, I would have become a Jew to placate David Geffen.”¬†

Other religious groups have wasted no time in¬†exploiting this dramatic development. For example, Muslims, taking a¬† page out of the Democrats’ playbook, are demanding a revocation of the 11th Century vote that authorized the Crusades.

However, some experts believe that Muslims might be making a serious strategic error to question Christianity. As one professor of theology put it: “Be careful what you ask for –if the resurrection was¬†a fraud, then all the¬†Christians are really Jews, and suddenly¬†the West Bank and Iraq are the least of Islam’s problems.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Staying on topic, Norm Jenson has clip from BBC Radio program, featuring debate about God.

Ray McGovern at BuzzFlash: Iran: How Far From the Bomb?

The Very Public Lynching of Barack Obama, at PDB.

John Amato with George Will on CPAC: Carnivores, Coulter and Rudy.

Madkane’s¬†silent “ode” to the odious Ann Coulter.

Glenn Greenwald: Confrontational investigations, subpoenas, and hearings are the priority.