Democratic Primary voters, fed up with Hillary Clinton’s stubborn refusal to admit her mistake in voting to authorize the¬†Iraq war, have finally decided to take drastic action: hiring 24′s Jack Bauer to force Hillary’s confession.

Speaking on behalf of a New Hampshire Democratic group called Swift Kick in the Shins For Truth, Roscoe Greenpeace acknowledged that his organization¬†opposes Bush’s trashing of the Geneva Convention, but insisted that this was a real matter of grave national security.

Consequently, Jack Bauer has been retained to utilize his full arsenal of tools, both figuratively and literally, to extract Hillary’s mea culpa.

Terrorism experts, however, doubt that Bauer can break Hillary. Appearing on MSNBC, Roger Cressey said that Hillary has survived right-wing hatchet jobs and witch-hunts, a harrowing ride on Whitewater, and even an attack by country singer Tammy Wynette.

“Even if Bauer threatens her with a cigar,” Cressey added, “it’s just more of ‘been there, done that’.”

The ubiquitous Pat Buchanan, the political version of “The Cable Guy,” believes that Bauer may actually play the “good cop” with Hillary, using his patented expressions such as “you have to trust me,‚Äù or ‚ÄúSenator, we‚Äôre running out of time.”¬†¬†¬†

Indeed, the bigger risk, terrorist experts agree, is that Bauer himself will end up “triangulated,” particularly after listening to Hillary go on about her health care plan, recipe for chocolate chip cookies, and how she visits¬†upstate Buffalo more often than Tim Russert.

 

——————————————————————————————-

BLOGWORTHIES: 

Beware of the Ides of Iran, at BuzzFlash.

Former CIA officer Larry Johnson addresses Iran on Olbermann, via Crooks & Liars.

Lisa Casey’s Pardon My Scooter.

Bill Maher is back, with New Rules of course, courtesy of Norm Jenson.

Mahablog on the Bush purge of prosecutors.