12. I can’t even remember my¬†real first name.

11. My dog ate my vendetta homework.

10. I was too busy feeding Judith Miller garbage, to recall trashing Valerie Plame.

¬†9. I was under extreme duress — Cheney threatened to “out” me as a Jew at¬†my exclusive country club.¬†

 8. I got disoriented from watching Chris Matthews repeatedly interrupt his guests on Hardball.

 7. I read a mistaken account of my actions on Wikipedia.  

¬†6. Tim Russert slipped a “mickey” into my buffalo burger.

 5. The Vice President used my daily diary for target practice.

 4. I was up all night writing phony intelligence reports about WMD.

¬†3. I knew about Joe Wilson’s wife, before I forgot her.

¬†2. I was distracted by all the phone calls from the President, asking if he could borrow my “scooter.”

¬†¬†1. Deception by this Administration is so rampant …¬†I forgot that lying was wrong!

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BLOGWORTHIES:

On the same theme, BuzzFlash on Scooter’s¬†Defense of “Chronic Amnesia.”

Jane Hamsher on the defense rests.

Bush’s photo-op, at All Hat No Cattle.

The Daily Show on Douglas Feith’s big balls, courtesy of Norm Jenson.

Dan Kurtzman has SNL’s “Blackness Scale.”

John Amato with Hillary’s Iran speech.