A leak from Scooter Libby’s legal team has revealed that his attorneys plan to “swing for the fences” with¬†a bold¬†new defense:¬†that Libby never even heard of weapons of mass destruction until he had lunch with The New York Times’¬†Judith Miller.

Libby plans to take the stand in his own defense and testify that Ms. Miller taught him about Renaissance poetry, French existentialist philosophy, and the subtle beauty of Uranium 235.

The Vice President’s former chief of staff¬†will also tell the jury that until he met Ms. Miller, he never even knew what “yellow cake” was, assuming that it was merely the spongelike dessert his Nana served him as a boy.¬†

Although he attended elite prep schools and Ivy League colleges, the man they call “Scooter” will further maintain that he never even heard of Buffalo until he watched Tim Russert on Meet the Press.

Libby’s lawyers will also try to convince the jury that he was not familiar with the U.S. Constitution, until he saw shredded bits of the document being discarded from the¬†Veep’s offices.

However, in his opening statement to the jury, Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald asserted that the evidence would establish that Libby¬†not only knew and outed Valerie Plame, but that based on Libby’s secret surveillance of the CIA officer, he even knew that her belly button was an “outie.”

 

 

 

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash on the Cheney madness.

Lisa Casey’s Presidential Patriots.

Tale of Two Governments, by Glenn Greenwald. 

The Week’s Best of Late Night Jokes, via Dan Kurtzman.

GOP and the Senate Minimum Wage Bill, at PDB.