In the latest and perhaps most explosive scandal to roil the world of beauty pageants, the reigning Miss Porn USA has been “stripped” of her title, based on accusations that she labially lip-synched her on-screen performances.

Pageant officials are currently awaiting medical tests to confirm if the young woman, referred to as “XXX” to protect her identity, is really a virgin, which would also violate the by-laws of the Miss Porn USA Pageant.

Scandalous photos of Miss XXX are also circulating on the Internet, that show her sipping ice tea at a church social, and leaving with a chaperone.

Donald Trump, who owns the rights to the Porn Pageant, appeared at a hastily called press conference to announce that Miss XXX should be given a “first chance” to lose her virginity.

“A young lady comes to the big city, and very often doesn’t know how to get it on,” The Donald asserted. “So I’m willing to take her under my wing as my personal apprentice.”

This announcement was met with harsh ridicule by Rosie O’Donnell, who announced on The View that she’s filing a court action to obtain immediate custody of Miss XXX.

Meanwhile, criminal charges may also be brought by a special prosecutor, expected to be DA Mike Nifong, formerly of the infamous Duke “rape” case, who currently has some free time on his hands.

A statement released by Mr. Nifong indicated that he’s weighing whether the charges brought will be felony or misdemeanor counts, depending on whether they involved labia majora, or merely labia minora.

Experts say that in a culture that worships the antics of Paris, Britney and Lindsay, the reputation of Miss XXX is permanently ruined.  However, others believe that she does have alternative career choices, such as competing in the Middle Eastern Miss 72 Virgins Contest.

=========================================================

BLOGWORTHIES:

Neocons Lining Up the Scapegoats for Iraq Failure, at PDB.

BuzzFlash and Mahablog on the latest attack on the courts by Alberto “Hit Man” Gonzales.

Norm Jenson with the lowdown on Dinesh Dumbass D’Souza.

Top 25 Bush Videos, via Dan Kurtzman.