Stung by recent criticism from Sen. Barbara Boxer that she has no immediate family members serving in Iraq, and therefore¬†no personal stake in the war, Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice has made a dramatic move to remedy this situation: adopting African orphans … and sending them to fight in Iraq.

Although most of the orphans would be well below draft age, and barely able to carry a gun, Rice emphasized that young people mature earlier and take on more significant responsibilities in African cultures.

“Just look at some of those radical Islamist militias in Somalia,” Rice pointed out. “Many of their members carry blankies and AK-47s at the same time.”

“And since all the schools are blown up in Baghdad,” Rice added, “these kids will be able to devote their full time to fighting.”

However, Rice’s plans were roundly¬†condemned by Angelina Jolie, who asserted that the whole point of adoption is to make sure orphans are fed, not fed into a meat grinder.

President Bush hailed Rice’s plan as a way to project more troop strength into Baghdad: “Who knows, compared to where these orphans are coming from, the slums of Sadr City might look pretty good.”¬†

Some TV Generals have expressed concern that Rice’s adopted children might get scared into¬†switching sides once they reach Iraq. “In that event,” lamented General Barry McCaffrey, “we can expect Bush to take a shot at these poor kids¬†in his next¬†State of the Union, by claiming that ‘terrorists are using yellow snakes … from¬†Africa‘.”

 

=========================================================

BLOGWORTHIES:

Professor Jonathan Turley on Pentagon’s attack on due process, at Crooks & Liars. In case you missed it, here’s my counterattack on¬†this problem.

Glenn Greenwald with a look back at Scott Ritter on WMD.

Libby Trial Jury Selection, at Firedoglake.

BuzzFlash Review: The Sociopath Next Door.

God only save us, from Non Compos Mentis, via Lisa Casey.

Norman Mailer’s All-Time Enemies List, at One Good Move.