“JUST BETWEEN US FILLIES,¬†I WISH THE MEDIA WOULD¬†REPORT¬†OUR POSITIONS ON THE ISSUES, INSTEAD OF JUST COVERING US LIKE THE¬†’HORSERACE’¬†FOR PRESIDENT.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Madkane weighs in on the ‘horserace,’ with Enough With The Polls, Already!

Lisa Casey reveals Bush’s¬†plans to cement his “legacy” for ‘08.

Jon Perr¬†asks if Bloomberg is God’s Gift to the GOP?

McCain Gets Religion, at Crooks & Liars.

 

“YES, MS. JONES, MY RECORD CLEARLY DEMONSTRATES THAT I’VE ALWAYS BEEN A LEADER ON ISSUES¬†IMPORTANT TO THE MS. JONES COMMUNITY.”

  

Dear Diary:

As a freshman Congressman from the Democratic Class of ‘06, I had high hopes of doing some serious ass Bush-kicking, but as things turned out, it looks as if we were whipped like a non-neo-con on a southern Cheney gang.¬† Here are some of the lowlights:

1. Iraq.¬† OK,¬†we¬†only worked on non-binding resolutions to restrict¬†funding for¬†Iraq, but we did manage to put them in a …¬†binder!¬† But I have to admit Dubya got the upper hand once again, claiming that we’d be a bunch of wusses unless we personally participated in the surge in Sadr City. Well, Xmas in Baghdad’s not exactly like home, especially since there’s not even enough electricity to light the tree. But the news is not all bad: Jack Murtha has collected another purple heart, and they say a pretty good fireworks show is expected on New Year’s Eve.

2. Iran. Speaking of non-binding resolutions, when are we finally gonna learn to read the small print on these damn Administration proposals. Now both¬†the¬†Iranian Revolutionary Guards, and the Democrat Party,¬†are labeled “terrorist organizations.”¬†¬†

3. S-CHIP. Now this one was really gonna’ be a slam dunk! Health care for sick children. Even the man-child and Darth Vader wouldn’t want to play a Dickens villain on this one. So how-in-hell did we end up passing a bill that taxes uninsured children –¬†to pay for tobacco ads!¬†

4. FISA. Listen, it’s no easy thing to buck the Commander-in-Chief when he waves the flag, and invokes “9/11″ more often than a broken Rudy Giuliani wind-up doll. But I think we went a bit too far when we agreed to let the White House install nanny cams in our offices.

5. Torture. I know, I know, the Geneva convention and all that. But although Mukasey turned out to be as slippery as Alberto VO-Jive, we did extract two key concessions on all future waterboarding: only the finest bottled spring water can be used, and they have to wait at least a half-hour until after the detainee has eaten!

Oh well, some of our critics may nitpick, and say we haven’t really accomplished much, but I prefer to see the glass as half-full.¬† After all, couldn’t you say we’re really like a “model congress?”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Shirley Smith at BuzzFlash on those Slow Learners in Congress.

Touched By An Atheist, with George Carlin, via One Good Move.

PDB on Peddling Fear: Pakistan vs. Healthcare, Jobs, and Foreclosures.

Dan Kurtzman with The Funniest Political Quotes of 2007.

 

“SINCE FOLKS THOUGHT I WAS COMATOSE¬†ANYWAY,¬†WE FIGURED WE MIGHT AS WELL TRY TO GET THE SYMPATHY VOTE…. BY THE WAY,¬†IF YOU DIAL THE PHONE NUMBER ON MY¬†JOWLS IN REVERSE ORDER, YOU CAN ORDER A DVD OF LAW AND ORDER.”

 

“WE CONCLUDE, IN LIGHT OF GOVERNOR HUCKABEE’S EXTRAORDINARY POLL NUMBERS IN IOWA, THAT GOD HAS EXCEEDED THE CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTION LIMITS FOR ‘DIVINE INTERVENTION’ TO AN INDIVIDUAL IN AN ELECTION CYCLE.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash on Countdown to Iowa — How Do We Choose?; and a visit to Barack’s Barbershop.

She Had a Dream, at All Hat No Cattle.

You’re An Idiot (Not Us!), at One Good Move.

Rudy and the Cavemen, at Crooks & Liars.

“WELL, THERE I GO AGAIN. THEY ACTUALLY PAID FOR THIS MICROPHONE.¬† FOR THE GOP, IT’S MOURNING IN AMERICA ….”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Mark Karlin:¬†Benazir Bhutto’s Assassination as¬†Likely to Remain¬†Unresolved as¬†JFK’s.

PDB asks: When Corporate-Owned Media ‘Analysts’ Say ‘Terrorists’ Killed Bhutto, Does That Include Musharraf?

Juan Cole’s Analysis of the Pakistani Crises.

Vote-Suppressor Confessor Kris Kobach is the BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week. 

“AS SOON AS¬†WE GET RID OF ALL THE LITTLE VARMINT WORKING STIFFS, THE CAPITAL GAINS TAX SHOULD FALL AS WELL.”

“I’M FOR THE FLAT TAX, AND THE FAT TAX.”

[Don't Miss the BuzzFlash Caption Challenge on Mike Huckabee's Elmer Fudd Moment.]

And Lisa Casey clues us in on one ‘present’ we can’t wait to return.

 

“HILLARY, I DID NOT HAVE ‘INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS’ WITH THOSE WOMEN.¬† BUT EVEN IF I DID, AFTER¬†I WAS ELECTED I’D BE A DAMN FOOL NOT TO SEEK YOUR ADVICE ON¬†THAT AS WELL.”

[The Background here.] 

Be sure to check out Dan Kurtzman’s¬†25 Dumbest Quotes of 2007, and related satirical “Year in Review” posts.

HOW CAN MITT GET OUR VOTE? 

WHEN¬†HE CAN’T HOLD A SINGLE NOTE …¬†

FOR MORE THAN TWO SEC-ONNNNNNNNNDS.

“HMM. MAYBE I SHOULDA’ USED ‘MORE COWBELL’ IN IOWA.”

 

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Buzzflash’s Mark Karlin: Will ‘The Washington Post’ Cease to Exist as a Newspaper?

Perrspectives on Supreme Court Test for GOP Vote Suppression Strategy.

PDB’s The Real Spirit of the Season; and¬†a Mr. Bean Christmas, at One Good Move.¬†

And what would the Holiday be without Season’s Greetings from Dick Cheney, courtesy of Lisa Casey.
 

“ALLRIGHT, O’REILLY, IT’S TIME TO AIR MY GRIEVANCES — YOU’RE A FIRST-CLASS ASSHOLE! AND NOW YOU HAVE TO PERFORM YOUR ‘FEETS OF CLAY’.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Mark Karlin on Christmas 2007: Amazing Grace (A lesson from the past).

Bruce Bartlett Ignores GOP’s Racist Present for Dems’ Racist Past, at Perrspectives.

Bluegal on the Concord Monitor’s ‘Anti’Endorsement’ — ‘Anbody But Mitt.’

Ron Paul: You’re No Abraham Lincoln, at TPM.