In what can only be described as the ultimate “cosmic irony,” Sam Harris, leading atheist and best-selling author of Letter to a Christian Nation, reportedly now has the largest cult following in the world, surpassing even the Rev. Sun Myung Moon.
Called the Seventh Day Church of the Secularists, Harris’s followers deny the existence of God, but claim that the Earth was colonized by Harris’s ancestors, who came from the Galaxy Agnostica more than 30 million eons ago.
The Secularists chant Harris Krishna, and try to communicate with Harris through their hairdryers, based on a “fundamentalist” misunderstanding of Harris’s work. Harris, who has disavowed the group, has attempted to utilize his own hairdryer to “blow off” these crazies.
Indeed, Harris has become so besieged by his literal “followers” that he has even taken to seeking refuge in the nearest church, synagogue or mosque. Unfortunately for Harris, he’s usually escorted out unceremoniously, once he’s pointed out by one of the parishioners.
Rumor has it that on one particular occasion, Harris scurried into a Catholic confessional, where he willingly suffered the gropings of a priest, so desperate was he to escape his minions.
Harris is now reportedly in the process of writing a new book, A Letter to My Demented Followers, where he urges them to “worship the Sun, join Opus Dei, anything, just to leave me the fuck alone.”
To escape further notoriety, Harris is purportedly planning to publish the book under the pseudonym “Professor Richard Dawkins.”
“If God forbid that doesn’t work,” lamented Harris, “I just may have to join a monastery.”
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BLOGWORTHIES:
Norm Jenson provides, as always, excellent links to Sam Harris and the subject of atheism.
On Saddam’s Execution, Christy Hardin Smith, Glenn Greenwald and Barbara O’Brien.
Bush Telling Lies, Not Saddam, by Michael Boldin at Progressive Daily Beacon.
Heather Wokusch at BuzzFlash, on Bush and Fascism.
Madkane’s Ode To A Former Canadian Ice Shelf.
Most outrageous comments of 2006, at Media Matters.
