In explaining why he’s¬†completely disregarding the key recommendations of The Iraq Study Group, President Bush asserted that his dog Barney ate his copy of the Commission’s Report.

“It’s the damndest thing,” Bush stated. “All’s I did was spread out the Report on the floor for Miss Beazley’s paper training, and next thing you know, ‘ole Barney came along and chewed up all 160 pages.”

In order to refute any suggestion that this story was concocted as an¬†excuse to ignore the Report, this year’s edition of the “Barney Christmas Video” expressly addresses the issue. The video features a cross Bush scolding Barney, with Bush asking Tony Snow to take¬†Barney into the White House Press Room¬†to¬†apologize¬†to David Gregory.

In the past, Bush has also asserted that Barney was responsible for eating his copy of the Constitution, the Geneva Convention, the FISA statute and his 2000 campaign speech about being a “uniter.”

Unfortunately for the Country, however, Barney was not able to digest the Administration’s plans for the invasion of Iraq, which he immediately threw up, whereupon they were quickly recovered¬†and implemented by Rumsfeld.

Confidential sources indicate¬†that Barney refuses¬†to be Bush’s fall guy on the Iraqi mess, and has therefore¬†decided to “cut and run” from the White House.

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Mitt Romney, BuzzFlash Hypocrite of the Week.

Lewis Black on Last Laugh 2006, via One Good Move.

Lisa Casey on The Indecider.

Iraqis Harrased by Robo-Calls, at Crooks & Liars.

Christy Hardin Smith on Afghanistan — “The Forgotten War.”