Although FOX News has finally succumbed to the pressure to pull its despicable O.J. Special, it has now signed on to an even more disgraceful enterprise: Dick Cheney’s¬†provocative new book: IF I¬†DID IT — FAKED WMD.

Scheduled to appear on FOX¬†with Sean Hannity, Cheney asserts in his book that the first thing he would have done is get an Iraqi screwball named “Curveball” to claim that Saddam had mass stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons — based in a Shia¬†trailer park in the slums of Sadr City.¬†

Then, as a “change of pace,” he would have claimed that¬†a roll of¬†Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil that Iraqis used to store their leftover yellow sponge cake was actually part of a reconstituted nuclear weapons program. (Editor’s Note: This at a time when Baghdad actually had electricity for refrigerators.)

Cheney also indicated that in order to keep Colin Powell in line and force him to prostitute himself before the UN, Rove would have literally used “black-male”: threaten to reveal¬†that Powell had a¬†black son.¬†

The Vice President further speculated that if he had encountered any resistance from the professionals in the intelligence community, he would have personally visited the CIA and threatened to unzip his chest and remove his bionic heart.

Moreover, if Tony Blair had expressed any resistance, the U.S would have boycotted the sole remaining export of this last great colonial power: Benny Hill reruns. 

Finally,¬†if a certain former ambassador had dared to challenge the Administration with an Op-ed piece in The New York Times, not only¬†would¬†that guy’s wife be “outed” as an undercover agent, but the ambassador himself would be subjected to the equivalent of “nuclear defamation” –¬†that he¬†was pussy-whipped!

Cheney ended the interview by reaffirming¬†that he would continue to look for the “real WMD,” assisted by the soon-to-be–unemployed Rick Santorum, and Rush Limbaugh, “who knows a little something about chemical substances.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

John Amato at Crooks & Liars on FOX, OJ, and O’Reilly.

One Good Move with Olbermann’s powerful Special Comment on Vietnam, and “Kramer’s” meltdown and apology. Giddy-Down!¬†

Brent Budowsky on Robert F. Kennedy, at BuzzFlash.