In a lawsuit that legal scholars are calling unprecedented, the Republican National Committee has filed suit against Diebold, the manufacturer of electronic voting machines, for breach of contract, negligence, fraud and breach of fiduciary duty¬†– all arising out of Diebold’s failure to “fix” the midterm elections in favor of the GOP.

The 189-page complaint, filed, naturally, in the Southern District of Florida, alleges that “Diebold reneged on its promises to deliver a majority of votes to Republican candidates in 49 states.”

A footnote to the complaint explained¬†that “no damages are sought regarding the Communistwealth of Taxachussets, which even elected a black guy as governor; as the GOP¬†acknowledges that Diebold could¬†only be expected to perform its contractual promises, not miracles.”

Professor Alan Dershowitz of the Harvard Law School commented that this was the first time he could recall an action being brought against a party for failing to carry out a fraud. “Indeed,”¬†Dershowitz added, “it would be like¬†O.J. suing a private investigator for not finding the real killer … Oops!”

Leading the gold-plated legal team for the RNC is Bush family consigliere James Baker, who graciously agreed to take time out from his Commission to “save” Iraq, in order to further destroy this Country.¬† Also serving is Ben “I sold my soul to the devil” Ginsberg, another alumnus of the 2000 Election/Republican Fraud Dream Team.

Sources¬†believe that the problems did not stem from any “double-dealing” by the voting machine company.¬† Instead,¬†the Diebold techie assigned to the task was color-blind, and apparently misinterpreted the “red-blue codes” that Ken Mehlman had transmitted to¬†him from his log cabin retreat.

Constitutional legal scholar Jonathan Turley, appearing on Countdown with Keith Olbermann, pointed out that the RNC lawyers¬†did¬†not really expect to prevail in¬†the trial court, but instead planned to make an immediate appeal to the Supreme Court, where they could¬†count on at least four solid votes — Scalia, Thomas, Roberts and Alito.

As to how a fifth and decisive vote could¬†be guaranteed¬†from the likes of Justice Anthony Kennedy, Professor Turley stated that the RNC just had to make sure that they hire a more “reliable” voting machine company to count that vote.

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash Review: Sam Harris’ Letter to a Christian Nation.

Norm Jenson with Bill Maher’s hilarious Farewell to Douchebags.

John Amato on Dean vs. Carville.¬†And Progressive Daily Beacon on “Crazy Carville Has to¬† Go.”

Glenn Greenwald: How myth gets built into conventional wisdom.

Media Matters: NY Post op-ed cherry-picks polling to suggest McCain and Giuliani would trounce Hillary Clinton in 2008.