12. Voting for a Democrat results in following message from electronic voting machine: “Your vote did not reach the intended candidate.”

11. Alternative message from electronic voting machine: “Due to changes to our Constitution, the vote you requested no longer exists.”

10. Alternative alternative message from electronic voting machine: “The page you requested is caucusing with the GOP House Leadership.”

¬†9. Mark Foley wins re-election — in Boystown, USA.

¬†8. Polling places broadcast continuous loop of the “Kerry botched joke.”

¬†7. Next to¬†names of Democratic candidates, ballots state: “The terrorists win.”

¬†6. Huge banner in front of polls say “Welcome to DIE BOLD.”

¬†5. Tennessee ballot reads: “To Vote For Harold Ford, Please Proceed to The Playboy Mansion.”¬†

¬†4. Virginia Ballot reads: “Vote for Senator Macaca, Not The Pervert Who Writes About Vietnamese Cocka.”

¬†3. Missouri Ballot reads: “A vote for McCaskill is a vote for cloning Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell.”¬†

 2. On election night, FOX News analysts explain that 62% across-the-board lead for Democrats in exit polls did not take account of individual races.

¬†1. On election eve,¬†Dennis¬†Hastert picks out new drapes for Speaker’s office, with the cast of Queer Eye.

=============================================

BLOGWORTHIES: 

Brent Budowsky at BuzzFlash: Time For Change: George Bush Attitudes Of Ridicule, Intolerance and Contempt Have Killed American Troops.

Lisa Casey’s Balance of Power Phototoon puts it all in perspective.

Madkane with an early Holiday gift: Walking in the Bushie Blunderland.

Glenn Greenwald on the expected election-eve Saddam¬†verdict:¬†The “Unsurprising Surprise.”

Crooks & Liars on Lieberman’s non-surprise.¬†Say it ain’t so, Joe.¬†¬†