10. No new faxes, just raunchy instant messages.

 9. Abolish all sperm limits.

¬†8. Dating allowed with children of three-fifth’s majority age.

 7. Replace metal detectors in Page dormitories with strip searches.

 6. Budget constraints ditched in favor of handcuffs and S&M constraints.

 5. One thousand dollar tax credit for families sending their children to Congressional Page program.

¬†4. Child welfare legislation — Congress assumes direct responsibility for spanking.

 3. Capital gains for whips and chains.

¬†2. Deregulate — jail bait.

¬†1. Education reform — Leave No Child’s Behind.

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Dave Lindorrf at BuzzFlash on war with Iran.

Glenn Greenwald on Ken Mehlman’s Lie.

Norm Jenson with David Rakoff’s Daily Show appearance.

Madkane’s Ode to Olbermann.

Progressive Daily Beacon on GOP’s circular firing squad.