While most people assume that the Bush Administration’s inevitable “October Surprise” will take the form¬†of another unnecessary war, or the “sudden capture” of Osama bin Laden¬†(or one of his scores of “No. 2′s”), confidential¬†sources have now¬†completely debunked this¬†theory.
Instead,¬†that modern-day Macchiavelli, Karl Rove, has¬†conducted extensive research to find out¬†just who really “pushes the buttons” of the¬†American people.¬† And based on those findings, the Bush Administration is prepared to make an election-eve arrest of the one person who will guarantee GOP control of Congress:¬†Ralph Nader.
Vilified by conservatives for his lifetime¬†crusade against corporate greed and corruption, and equally loathed by liberals for his 2000 Presidential campaign which¬†ensured a Bush victory, polls show that Nader is even more hated than¬†bin Laden.¬† In addition, for the racist-nativist contingent that forms such a large part of the Bush base, Nader’s Middle Eastern ancestry is just more icing on the cake.
The Administration also intends to interrogate Mr. Nader based on their extremely loose interpretation of the Geneva Convention, emboldened by the fact that liberals are highly unlikely to object.
Indeed, Al Gore, the chief victim of Nader’s¬†reckless 2000 campaign, is expected to argue that global warming can be greatly reduced if Nader is burned instead of fossil fuels.
In the event that Nader cannot be apprehended in time, Karl Rove has reportedly come up with a “Plan B,” also intended to curry favor with the masses:¬†the¬†arrest of¬†a gay teachers’ union president.
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For your version of the “October Surprise,” submit your theory to BuzzFlash.
If you’re thinking of a “September Surprise,” the Bushies’ arch-enemies are all hangin’ out in Havana right now.¬†
Crooks & Liars on FCC destruction of draft study.
At MyDD, Barack Obama on the Democrats, and ex-communicate the DLC.
Norm Jenson with latest Bill Maher New Rules.
Lisa Casey’s Bush Ship of State.¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†
