Despite Lincoln Chafee’s¬†votes against the Iraq War, the Bush tax cuts, and the nominations of Alito and Bolton, the GOP is so desperate to retain Congress in the upcoming mid-terms, that they threw their full support to this¬†last remaining¬†liberal Republican¬†– who won his party’s nomination yesterday.¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†

But GOP attempts to retain control of Congress have now gone even further, as they have nominated another Lincoln –Abraham– for¬†the original House seat he held in Illinois.

Although Honest Abe has been dead for 140 years, and held positions on race relations that are more progressive than the modern-day GOP, Republicans are willing to swallow their principles in order to maintain their majority status.  

In addition to Lincoln, the GOP has also nominated other dead liberal Republicans from by-gone eras, since no other live ones could be found. Teddy Roosevelt, for example, has been put up for a House seat in New York, although his trust-busting policies are anathema to the party of Bush and Cheney.

Sources indicate that Karl Rove is the mastermind behind this campaign of “Better Dead and Red.”¬† Since prior claims by Republican candidates that they were “the Party of Lincoln and Roosevelt” seemed absurd — in light of the GOP’s¬†reactionary policies — Rove figured that¬†the only way to bridge this gap was to actually run Abe and Teddy as candidates.

However, despite this “GOP¬†liberalization” policy,¬†Rove has not softened his opposition to Rudy Guiliani as the Republican Presidential candidate in ’08, since Rudy’s¬†support of gay rights¬†goes just¬†too far.

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Norm Jenson has Daily Show video of Dubya doubletalk through Little Richard (as opposed to the usual Big Dick).

Chris Bowers’ Triple AdWatch.

Seeing The Forest on Gas Price Election Connection.

Rude Pundit on The Democratic Talking Point.