While¬†news outlets have detailed¬†many of the falsehoods contained in ABC/Disney’s upcoming 9/11 miniseries, this reporter has obtained exclusive footage of the most outrageous distortions. Here is a transcript of that obscene scene:
Date: September 11, 1997:
Clinton: Oh, Monica, that feels real good, keep on goin’ girl!
Monica: But Bill, planes just crashed into the twin towers and the Pentagon is a smoldering wreck.
Clinton: Screw the Pentagon, Monica, serves ‘em right for making me swallow that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy.¬† And after you finish your business, let’s continue¬†reading Leaves of Grass.
Monica: I’m sorry, Mr. President, but under the circumstances, this doesn’t quite feel right.
Clinton: Listen, Monica, it’s too late now, so just let me enjoy myself. Besides, the only memos I’ve received lately from Sandy Berger and Madeleine Albright said “Intern Determined To Blow.”
Intercom: Mr. President, Osama Bin Laden is here to see you, and it appears he doesn’t even have any bodyguards,
Clinton: Can’t you see I’m busy, Betty– tell Osama, if he wants to see a real explosion, he should forget about Allah and 72 virgins, and check out my action with this plump little Jewish girl.
Monica:¬† But Bill, this is your best chance to really cement your legacy by taking out the world’s biggest threat.
Bill:¬†Monica, if I were to accomplish that, I’d have to order an attack on Ralph Nader.
Monica: Well, you have to do something to retaliate, to show the terrorists we mean business.
Bill: Violence never solved anything, Monica; l think I’ll invite Osama and his gang over for an all-night bullshit session and pizza party.
Intercom: Mr. President, we just received word, Hurricane Katrina just hit New Orleans hard, what should we do?
Bill: Alright Betty, just pack my saxophone, I’m on my way to a Ninth Ward Black Church to play some blues.
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BLOGWORTHIES:
BuzzFlash Editorial on what 9/11 movie should include.
Madkane haiku on ABC dispute.
Dan Kurtzman with “Politicians Gone¬†Wild” videos — ‘06 edition.
Norm Jenson with Colbert/Carrell on dueling religions.
Lisa Casey’s Secret CIA Prisons.¬†¬†
