Sheik Hassan Nasrallah, the head of Hezbollah, has incredibly admitted that he never would have ordered the kidnapping of two Israeli soldiers that led to hostilities with Israel, had he known the consequences for Lebanon.

Nasrallah has thus accomplished in one month what Bush has still adamantly refused to do more than three years after the invasion of Iraq: admit to a screw-up and apologize.

However, Nasrallah did leave himself a bit of wiggle room, asserting that he voted against the kidnapping, before he voted for it. The Hezbollah chief also, incidentally, emphatically insisted that he “did not have sexual relations with those 72 virgins.”

Nasrallah further apologized for saying such inflammatory things as “Bring on the American infidels,” and we want them “dead or dead.”

But on the key issue of Lebanon, the leader of the militant group was quoted as saying: “If I knew the process of capturing [these soldiers], even with a 1% probability, would lead to a war like this, and then if you asked me would you go and capture them, my answer would be, of course, no ‚Äî for humanitarian, moral, social and security reasons.”

Nasrallah has coined this the “Reverse-Cheney One-Percent Doctrine” — that you avoid war, even if there’s a one-percent chance that it might cause widespread death and destruction.

However, when asked what the percentages were of Hezbollah recognizing Israel’s right to exist, Nasrallah cited the “Zero Percent Doctrine,” corresponding to when “hell freezes over on the Celsius scale.”

========================================

In related news, Nasrallah announced the “end of Hezbollah welfare as we know it.”

BLOGWORTHIES:

Huffington Post, via Think Progress, has Lugar on “staying the course in a civil war.”

Dan Kurtzman provides us with Top 25 Political Humor Videos.

Glenn Greenwald on GOP spin by the media.

My Left Wing on running against Corporate America.

JC Christian with George Allen Practice Debate. (”The Macaca, from Morocca, could not, live on my blocka” — “I think he’s got it, I think he’s got it.”)