In a real-life version of the O’Henry classic¬†The Ransom of Red Chief, two FOX News journalists were released today by an obscure Palestinian terrorist group, which actually¬†paid a ransom –¬†¬†in order¬†to be rid¬†of the two newsmen.

A spokesman for the terrorists explained that keeping the FOXies in custody was¬†hurting morale, and¬†threatened to¬†jeopardize the organization’s entire commitment to Holy Jihad. One of their members even¬†converted to Evangelical Christianity under duress,¬†caused by¬†the FOX journalists¬†spouting the wit and wisdom of Pat Robertson.¬†

The FOX newsmen¬†also managed to persuade¬†the terrorist¬†rank and file to ditch their chant of “Death to America and Israel,” in favor of the¬†slogans “Fear and Balanced,” and “We Distort, You Abide.”

A number of the young Jihadist interns had even changed their computer screensaver images from Khomeini to Cheney.

But perhaps the most¬†troubling FOX influence was evident in the attempt by¬†some¬†holy warriors to re-name¬†their policies prohibiting alcohol and gambling –¬†to the “No-Sin Zone.”

Despite the release of the FOX journalists, this incident has exacerbated a bitter rift between rival terrorist groups.  The leader of a competing splinter group, al-Franken Mahmoud, has even written a scathing book, entitled Lies And the Lying Jihadists Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at Right-Wing Terrorists.

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Glenn Greenwald on the latest Bush abuse of power.

BuzzFlash review: Bush On The Couch.

Norm Jenson has¬†Bill Maher’s¬†New Rules, and another virtuoso¬†Hitchens performance.

The Third-World-ization of U.S. at Crooks & Liars.

Progressive Daily Beacon on GOP’s¬†public education policies.

Cookie Jill at Skippy on another setback for veterans.