While recent stories on Joe Lieberman appear to suggest that he has more lives than a Kabbalah cat, and is determined to vigorously pursue his bid for re-election as an Independent, this reporter has learned that reports of his resurrection are greatly exaggerated.

So here then, from the home office of Waterbury, Connecticut, are The Top Ten Signs that it’s really over for Holy Joe:

10. Lieberman’s Temple gives away his seats for the High Holy Days to Ned Lamont, who’s not even Jewish.

9. Lieberman himself wears a “Bush F**ked Me” Button.

8. The DLC declares Lieberman DOA.

7. The only intern who will work for him is Monica Lewinsky.

6. Lieberman’s official Senate photo shows him walking barefoot on London’s Abbey Road, with a car in the background bearing license plate number “5766,” the Jewish Year of Lieberman’s political death.

5. Al Gore sends Lieberman a text message, urging him to accept “An Inconvenient Truth.”

4. Protestors at his campaign stops have downgraded from papier-mache to paper bags over their heads.

3. His Imus appearance gets bumped in favor of Fred Imus’ football picks.

2. As with Jerry Seinfeld’s TV father, Lieberman gets impeached as President of his Florida condo.

1. The Carnegie Deli sandwich named for him is switched from Pastrami on Rye, to Ham and Swiss on White, with Mayo!

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BLOGWORTHIES:

The Un-Lieberman: BuzzFlash’s Wings of Justice Award to Ned Lamont.

Wonkette Poll on best nickname for George “But I Don’t Own Any Slaves” Allen.

More on Senator Neanderthal from One Good Move.

Glenn Greenwald on the cure for the “Ahmadinejad virus.”

Burqas-R-Us at All Hat No Cattle.

Progressive Daily Beacon: Just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean the Bushies are not out to get ya’.