In a dramatic breakthrough that promises an end to the current war between Hezbollah and Israel, President Bush has brokered a deal in which Hezbollah has agreed to return captured Israeli soldiers, in exchange for an Arafat rookie card in mint condition.

The President, drawing on his experience as the former owner of the Texas Rangers, came up with the idea during a bicycle ride on the West Bank with a Jewish settler from Brooklyn, who had the prized card in the spokes of his mountain bike.

The Arafat rookie card is particularly valuable, since the Palestinian leader is not wearing his trademark black and white checkered kafiyah, but is instead sporting a New York Yankees cap.  In addition, due to the mistaken use of a “negative,” Arafat appears clean-shaven, and his omnipresent pistol is holstered on the wrong side.

The back of the card also features a cartoon version of Arafat, depicting how he spends his time that is free: “Yasir enjoys handsome young boys, when not trying to drive Jews into the sea.”

Israel initially tried to obtain the return of their soldiers by trading cards of the current Palestinian leader, Mahmoud Abbas, but Arab terrorists rejected this offer on the basis that they already had sufficient supplies of toilet paper.

Israel, however, shrewdly held back other “trump cards,” in case they’re needed for future prisoner returns. These include: (1) the special commemorative series of “Assassinated Saddam Hussein Lawyers,” (2) “Arab League Leaders in Suicide Bombings” (seven hundred individuals are tied with “One”), and (3) perhaps most valuable of all, the card featuring Egyptian strongman Gamal Abdel Nasser, holding up the newspaper headline: “Arabs Win Six-Day War.”