In a development eerily reminiscent of the UFO-crazy ’50′s, there has recently been an explosion of claimed WMD sightings by some of the more fringe elements of society.
Led by Senator Rick “Sanitarium” Santorum, the “WMD cultists” claim that the State Department is covering up evidence of WMDs that have been spotted in Iraq, as well as in neighboring Syria.
However, many experts state that while Santorum’s purported WMDs are indeed life-threatening, in actuality they’re merely the MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) dispensed by the military to the troops, who throw them away. This explains the burns and rashes on the local populace, as well as the mutilation of cattle, who, out of desperation, find and eat these deadly rations.
Even some of Santorum’s own constituents believe he’s on a wild goose chase. As one truck driver from Pittsburgh stated, “Why doesn’t he spend our tax dollars on something more constructive, like finding Bigfoot or the Holy Grail.”
Santorum, in serious jeopardy of his losing his re-election bid, also stated that his hunt for WMDs has confirmed his belief in UFOs as well. The Senator related his “close encounter of the third kind,” when on a recent trip to Iraq, an extraterrestrial-looking creature, with a head appearing as if it had been mis-shapen by a bomb, pointed a finger at him and wearily said: “Go Home.” Santorum also asked: “How else do we explain the massive abductions in Iraq, but for the invasion of aliens?”
Asked to comment on the the comparison between Iraqi WMD sightings and the UFO phenomenon, Dr. Stephen Hawking stated that “with UFOs, people actually see things that simply can’t be explained. In contrast, with WMDs, nuts like Santorum are ‘explaining’ things that clearly don’t exist.”
===================================================
BLOGWORTHIES:
BuzzFlash Review of Ron Suskind’s new book, The One Percent Doctrine, and my own humble take on this concept.







