John Kerry, who has advocated the “wild-eyed” position that U.S. troops leave Iraq by a year from now, has been viciously attacked by the dominant segment of his own party, known as the “Swiftboat Democrats for Cowardice” (SDC).

A statement issued by the SDC asserted that Kerry’s position not only constituted a self-inflicted wound, but also hurt the Democrats’ chances of recapturing Congress in the mid-term elections: “We believe in what Senator Kerry is saying even before he said it, but we’re cutting and running from Kerry and voting against it.”

A secret poll of these same Democrats reveals, however, that they actually favor a more aggressive timetable for an exit from Iraq: namely, the 6:44 out of Fallujah.

The SDC also attacked Kerry’s credibility by stating that he was not, as claimed, actually on the Senate Floor when his proposal was made, but that he emailed it from his Blackberry while windsurfing off the coast of Martha’s Vineyard.

In contrast, the GOP is advocating a strategy of “cut and stay,” which means further fueling the insurgency until Iraq is cut into ribbons, and staying there to bear witness to the carnage.

Meanwhile, Kerry is also planning to introduce legislation requiring all Senators and House members who vote for an open-ended Iraqi commitment to personally spend one month imbedded with the troops.

However, rumor has it that if this proposal ever reaches the floor, some elected officials will literally cut the bill to shreds, while others will run from the Capitol as if they were being chased by Jack Abramoff.

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Ari Berman of The Nation and Progressive Daily Beacon on this same issue.