As¬†you may have heard by now, Bush’s Camp David “War Summit” is scheduled to include a Tuesday videoconference with the top ministers in the¬†new Iraqi government. Here then, are the Top Ten Technical Problems likely to be encountered in this videoconference:

10.  Too much background noise in Green Zone: IEDs going off in Baghdad.

 9.   Too much background noise at White House: Protesting Latinos and gays hopping mad.

¬†8.¬† By time Iraqi¬†Cabinet¬†introduced by conference operator, governing coalition’s just a myth.

¬†7.¬† By time Bush’s¬†Cabinet introduced by conference operator,¬†half have taken the Fifth.

 6.  During answer from Prime Minister al-Maliki, screen freezes and then goes blank.

 5.  During answer from leader of free world, he freezes and then goes blank.

 4.  Sound and video problems on Iraqi end: constant echo and picture grainy.

 3.  Only sound problems on U.S. end: Bush constantly echoes Cheney.

 2. Delay in satellite transmission creates problem for al-Maliki: By time he utters progress is made, violent attacks up 10%.

 1. Delay in satellite transmission creates problem for Bush: By time he utters progress is made, poll numbers down 10%.

 

P.S. It’s obvious that Bush read this post, in light of his cancellation of the videoconference in favor of a personal trip to Baghdad. Well, the good thing is, at least for a while,¬†he’ll be screwing things up there, instead of here.¬†¬†¬†