In a ground-breaking series of episodes involving Vito “what’s he really like to eat-o” Spatafore, The Sopranos are now tackling¬†one of the most controversial issues in the culture wars: “Do mobsters really¬†bury¬†bones in the end-zone?”

Speaking on behalf of one of the leading crime families, Frankie “The Fuchsia Drapes” Florenza stated: “Hey, if we’re gonna’ have a ‘Sit Down’ wit da’ udder families, we might as well sit on dere faces.”

True to form, the Christian Evangelical movement has strongly condemned homosexual hoods, with Pat Robertson¬†predicting¬†that they would feel the wrath of God¬†by being “whacked” in the ass.¬† Despite the fact that The Sopranos airs after his 8:30 p.m. bedtime, President Bush¬†also expressed¬†disapproval of gay gangsters: “The relationship of a¬†Mafioso¬†and his goumada should be strictly between a man and a woman.”

Many¬†gay activist leaders indicated that they were not really surprised by a mobster coming out of the closet, although¬†it is more typical that¬†they come out of the car trunk. As stated by the Capo di tutti Fruity¬†of the¬†Gay and Lesbian Alliance, “what do you expect from a culture that wears loafers and see-through socks, and names their boat The Stugots” (Balls).

Network executives, always quick to jump on the latest trend, are planning a new gay mob program for the¬†coming Fall, Queer Eye For The Made Guy. In the first episode, the Bada Bing Club is¬†radically transformed to look like the Stonewall Inn, as fake breasts are replaced –¬†by leather chaps and vests.

But in perhaps the most revealing sign that gay culture has now permeated the mob, all of their carting company trucks are now sporting the AIDS ribbon.

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STRIKE TRES?: In response to the threatened “work action” planned for Monday by illegal immigrants, GOP Senators have threatened to pass emergency legislation firing all striking workers, and replacing them with … illegal immigrants?

BLOGWORTHIES: One Good Move features extensive video of “Must See Colbert” at the White House Correspondents Dinner. Colbert gets my vote not for White House Press Secretary, but for President.

Frederick at Daily Kos has an¬†extensive transcript of Colbert’s virtuoso performance.

By the way, is it just me, but was that Bush-impersonator-double-talking-act at this event not only lame from a comedic point of view, but a little too close to the painful truth to have any satiric value.