Recent news reports have revealed that the major telephone carriers, such as Verizon, Sprint, and particularly AT&T, have been cooperating extensively with the Bush Administration in its warrantless surveillance of U.S. citizens.

Accordingly, all of these carriers have now come out with special promotions for their customers, a few of which are highlighted here:

1. Unlimited free long-distance: But only to the Middle East and Afghanistan.

2. Caller ID and mobile-tracking (of you, not by you, needless to say).

3. Three-way calling: You, your best friend, and your Uncle Sam.

4. Star Chamber 69: Reveals the last call from the Homeland Security Department trying to arrange your rendition to an Eastern European gulag.

5. Call Baiting: Phony phone calls keep you on the line, to allow the NSA time to set up wiretapping protocols.

6. Do Not Call — Your Lawyer. All rights to legal representation suspended, at least until we teach those Islamo-fascists a lesson about civil liberties.


BuzzFlash News Analysis on the Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld junta.

Progressive Daily Beacon on the “commonality” between our religious “nuts” and Iran’s.