There are, no doubt, a number of disturbing parallels between the “quagmires” of Vietnam and Iraq. ¬†However,¬†any objective observer would have to concede that the differences greatly outweigh the similarities. So, without further ado,¬†from the home office in Baghdad’s “Green Zone,” here are the Top Ten distinctions between Vietnam and Iraq:

10. Vietnam: Battle between communists and corrupt dictatorship.  Iraq: Battle between the 6th and 7th Centuries.

9.¬†Guerilla tactics in both are a given — but at least in ‘Nam, our boys¬†got to sleep¬†with the local women.

8. Vietnam: Our troops had continuous access to dope.  Iraq: only when Rumsfeld pays a visit.

7. Vietnam: Enemy tries to kill and maim us.  Iraq: Enemy also flagellates themselves.

6. Vietnam: Huge anti-war rallies.  Iraq: Cindy Sheehan in a pup tent.

5. Vietnam: “Best and the Brightest” rely on Domino Theory.¬† Iraq: Neo-Cons rely on Fats Domino theory.

4. Vietnam: Jane Fonda on enemy tank.¬† Iraq: Jane Fonda on Jesus’s flank.

3. Vietnam: McCain tortured by Reds. Iraq: McCain tortures the Blues.

2. Vietnam: SecDef with wire-rimmed glasses knew adventure was major fuck-up.  Iraq: SecDef with wire-rimmed glasses is the major fuck-up.

1. Vietnam: Hard to tell which side Vietnamese civilians¬†on.¬† Iraq: Hard to tell which side we’re on.

BLOGWORTHIES:

Predicting Scooter Libby’s Next Move at Talk Left.

Jane Hamsher at Firedoglake provides excellent links to comprehensive DeLay articles detailing extent of criminal enterprise.