Belarus, the¬†last European bastion¬†of Soviet-style totalitarianism,¬†has announced a total trade embargo of the United States, based on the Bush Administration’s theft of the¬†2000 election,¬†its abuse of foreign detainees, its clear disregard of the FISA statute, and arrests of innocent protestors at the 2004 GOP convention.

Belarus President¬†Aleksandr Lukashenko, currently under the gun for¬†rampant human rights abuses and for stealing the recent Belarussian¬†election, stated: “We may not be boy scouts, but this Bush crowd makes us look like girl scouts.”¬†

Mr. Lukashenko added that although he has never actually met Mr. Bush in person, he “looked into the U.S. President’s soul through a state of the art HDTV, and decided that … there was nothing there.”

Belarus has also imposed travel restrictions on Bush Administration officials, particularly Vice President Cheney, whose demand to leave the lights on would have totally wiped out Belarussian energy reserves.

However, just to show that Mr. Cheney is not entirely without friends, the Chairman and CEO of Motel 6 said that he’d be more than happy to leave the lights on for the Vice President, especially¬†in view of the recent shooting of Mr. Whittington.

In other international developments, the release of the “Christian convert,” Abdul Rahman, from an¬†Afghani jail, is being credited to the ingenuity of his defense team, led by former Clinton lawyers, who argued that it all depended on what the meaning of “Is-lam is.”¬†¬†¬†¬†

 

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