The Satirical Political Report

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September 2nd, 2010

National Archives: ‘Glenn Beck Actually Had His Dick In His Hands’

Olbermann Beck

“ACCORDING TO A SPOKESPERSON FOR THE NATIONAL ARCHIVES, GLENN BECK NEVER EVEN HAD AN INTEREST IN  WASHINGTON’S HANDWRITTEN INAUGURAL ADDRESS.  INSTEAD, MR. BECK THOUGHT HIS OWN HAND JOB WAS WORTHY OF INCLUSION AS A NATIONAL TREASURE.”

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Video at  HuffPost.

Oil Reigns Supreme, by Lisa Casey.

M is for Mashup, at BartCopE!

September 1st, 2010

Forget Alan Simpson, Even John Boehner Opposes Veteran’s Benefits for ‘Agent Orange’

“WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT EXPOSURE TO AGENT ORANGE, I’VE BEEN GLOWING EVER SINCE MY NUMEROUS TOURS IN TAN SALON.”

The latest Simpson outrage at FDL.

Lisa Casey on the GOP’s Social InSecurity.

Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Ken Mehlman … and the GOP’s “Gay Problem – at BuzzFlash.

August 31st, 2010

Chris Christie Appoints ‘Snooki’ as New Jersey Education Commissioner

 

“NOT ONLY DOES SNOOKI REPRESENT NEW JERSEY’S IDEA OF A RACE TO THE TOP, BUT SHE’S GOOD WITH NUMBERS, SINCE SHE AT LEAST KNOWS WHAT EXIT SHE’S AT ON THE JERSEY SHORE.”

Story here.

August 30th, 2010

Bart Simpson Has a ‘Cow’ Over Alan Simpson

“MAN, I LIKE THE FACT THAT HE SAYS THE WORD ‘TITS,’ BUT I WOULD’VE EATEN MY SHORTS BEFORE I THOUGHT OBAMA WOULD LEAVE SIMPSON’S ASS ON THE DEFICIT COMMISSION.”

Story here.

August 29th, 2010

Karzai Uses Robert Bork to Fire ‘Graft Prosecutor’ In Afghanity Night Massacre

“I COULDN’T FIND ANYONE TO PULL THE TRIGGER …  UNTIL I REMEMBERED THE HATCHET MAN FROM THE ORIGINAL ‘I’M NOT A CROOK‘ ADMINISTRATION’.”

Story here.

August 27th, 2010

Forget MLK, Glenn Beck’s Lincoln Memorial Rally Even Disgraces Forrest Gump

“LIKE MOMMA ALWAYS SAID, ‘STUPID IS AS GLENN BECK DOES’.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Martin Luther King Had a Dream and Glenn Beck Was Not in It.

Lisa Casey on the growing (like a tumor) tea-party phenomenon.

Compelling video of Dr. King’s calls for social justice, at One Good Move.

August 26th, 2010

Ken Mehlman’s Stunning Admission: ‘I’m a Black Muslim’

“OH, I NEVER FOOLED ANYONE ABOUT THE GAY THING, BUT GETTING MADE UP EVERYDAY WITH THIS WHITE MASK TO HIDE MY INNER MOSQUE … WAS A REAL BITCH.”

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Inquiring minds want to know: When will the Palins go INTO the closet? — at All Hat No Cattle.

Christian Action Network Mounts Comeback on Islamophobic Agenda, at BuzzFlash.

August 26th, 2010

Alan Simpson Apologizes, Offers to ‘Save’ Social Security With His ‘Man Boobs’

“I MAY NOT BE A MILK COW FROM WYOMING, BUT IF I TOOK MY SHIRT OFF, YOU’D SEE THAT FOLKS WOULD GLADLY VOLUNTEER TO COMPLETELY GIVE UP THEIR SOCIAL SECURITY BENEFITS.”

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Story at Crooks & Liars.

August 25th, 2010

How Muslim Cab Drivers Should Retaliate for NYC Stabbing

“NEXT TIME A FARE ASKS US TO TAKE THEM TO ‘GROUND ZERO,’ WE’RE GONNA’ TURN ON THE METER AND TAKE A SLIGHT  DETOUR … TO DEARBORN, MICHIGAN.”

Lisa Casey on the FOX detour from reality.

Dan Kurtzman’s Political Cartoons of the Week.

August 24th, 2010

Beck and Palin At The Lincoln Memorial: Two Blockheads ON Hallowed Ground

“IT’S LIKE PUTTING AN ABYSMALAMIC CULTURE WAR  CENTER AT THE HEART OF WHAT’S BEST ABOUT AMERICA.”

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Story here.

Our Corrupting Campaign Process, at BuzzFlash.

More evidence of the Culture Wars on the Iraq War, at All Hat No Cattle.

More on the so-called ‘Ground Zero Mosque’ at BartCopE!

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