“As my followers know, the biggest influence on my politics was Ayn Rand’s game-changing book, The Showerhead.”
"The Best Political REAM
on the Internet."
“This whole mess really started with Gene Hackman’s gay hand-holding rituals in ‘Hoosiers,’ which in turn led to ass-slapping on the court, which then led to … well, the rest is history.”
As the proprietor of this erotic bakery, my religion is the Kama Sutra. I therefore had to tell this Christian couple that my conscience forbade me from baking a cake depicting the “missionary position.”
“This promises to be even bigger than Taxicab Confessions. Not only will it feature more dramatic and serious crimes, but it sets out to undermine the myth that most people get their biggest brainstorms sitting on the crapper. As Robert Durst taught us, sometimes the bathroom is where the biggest shitstorms take place, and the guilty actually shit all over themselves.”
“I really thought we were just sending them some sheet music from the Hits of the 60′s: Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb-Bomb Iran .”
“What choice do we really have but the military option. We simply can’t afford the risk that these these people will secretly try to enrich their lives, thus endangering the security of the 1%.”
David Dent: 47 Republican Senators to Sponsor Fraternity Party Bus.
Mark Karlin of BuzzFlash at Truthout — Abominable Injustice: Black Man’s 13-Year Sentence for Two Joints of Pot.
“DON’T BELIEVE THOSE OUTRAGEOUS LIES. I WASN’T JUST COVERING STREET PROTESTS ON FIFTH AVENUE, I WAS ACTUALLY IN SAKS FIFTH AVENUE WHEN THE SALESGIRL SPRAYED ME WITH COLOGNE AND SAID ‘HAPPY HOLIDAYS‘.”