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The Satirical Political Report

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January 26th, 2012

Latest Poll: Newt’s ‘Campaign’ Against Saul Alinsky May Backfire

“BASED ON THE CONSTANT PUBLICITY PROVIDED BY NEWT GINGRICH, AND A LARGE TURNOUT AMONG JEWISH REPUBLICANS, IT LOOKS LIKE SAUL ALINSKY WILL ACTUALLY WIN THE FLORIDA GOP PRIMARY!”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on the Success of Occupy Wall St: The 99% Are the New Political Narrative.

Insider Trading by Congressional Insiders, at All Hat No Cattle.

Madkane’s Rick Santorum’s Acronym Antics.

Recommended Reads at BartCopE!

 

 

January 25th, 2012

Mitch Daniels’ SOTU Response: Give Me Another Chance to Wreck the Budget

“NOT ONLY DO I BELIEVE IN A ‘RIGHT TO WORK’ STATE, BUT I BELIEVE IN MY RIGHT TO WREAK HAVOC ON THE STATE OF THE ENTIRE NATION FOR A SECOND TIME.”

January 25th, 2012

Newt’s Response to Obama’s SOTU: Tax Breaks for Spilled MILFS

“IN OBAMA’S EUROPEAN SOCIALIST MINDSET, THE GOVERNMENT WOULD LIMIT HOW MANY MILFS RICH GUYS LIKE ME COULD SLEEP WITH, WHILE I WANT TO PROVIDE TAX INCENTIVIES FOR THE BLOW JOB CREATORS.”

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The Obama Spilled Milk joke here.

January 22nd, 2012

Romney Loses Iowa, S. Carolina, But Claims Surprising ‘Win’

“WELL, WE’VE JUST GOTTEN THE BEST POSSIBLE NEWS OF ALL. A RECOUNT SHOWS THAT I ACTUALLY ALSO LOST THE GOVERNORSHIP OF MASSACHUSETTS … SO ROMNEYCARE IS OUT, AND NOW I HAVE A REAL CHANCE WITH THE GOP BASE.”

January 21st, 2012

Professor Gingrich Provides Alibi to Marianne’s Charges

“THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS THAT IT HAD NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH CALISTA, I WAS MERELY WITH GINGER ON A THREE HOUR TOUR.”


January 19th, 2012

The Part of Marianne Gingrich Interview That ABC Left on Cutting Room Floor

Marianne Gingrich ABC Nightline Interview

“NOT ONLY DID HE WANT AN OPEN MARRIAGE, BUT TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY, HE WANTED ME TO WORK AS A JANITOR … TO CLEAN UP THE MESS AFTERWARDS.”

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Lisa Casey with Newtering Megalomania. 

Mark Karlin at Buzzflash: SOPA and PIPA Are Stalking Horses for Silencing the Powerful Voice of Democracy.

Madkane’s Limerick Letter From George W. Bush To Rick Perry.

Recommended Reading links, at BartCopE!

January 17th, 2012

New Book About GOP Race: ‘Primary Coloreds’

“THAT’S RIGHT, MR. WILLIAMS, WE REPUBLICANS LACK ANY MORALS, COHERENT THOUGHTS OR NEW IDEAS, SO WE’RE JUST GONNA CONCENTRATE ON OUR PRIMARY MESSAGE FOR THE LAST 45 YEARS: RACE.”

January 12th, 2012

The Secret to Ron Paul’s Support Among College Students

“IT’S REALLY HIS LIBERTARIAN VIEWS ON DRUGS: IF YOU CAN GET FUCKED UP ENOUGH, YOU REALLY DON’T CARE IF RON PAUL FUCKS UP CIVILIZATION.

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Mark Karlin on another racist rightwinger: MSNBC Should Finally Drop Kick “Brown Shirt” Pat Buchanan.

Lisa Casey on Cher in the Supreme Court.

Recommended Reads, at BartCopE!

January 10th, 2012

New Hampshire Hamlet of Dixville Notch Goes For Punxsutawney PAUL

 

“LOOKS LIKE THE VOTERS HAVE SPOKEN: AT LEAST SIX MORE WEEKS OF A CRAZY LIBERTARIAN IN THIS CAMPAIGN WITH HIS HEAD IN THE SAND AS TO CORPORATE ABUSES.”

January 9th, 2012

Riddle: What Happens to a Chinese-Speaking, Mormon GOP Candidate, Who Worked for Obama

“LOOKS LIKE I’M NOW THE HUNTED … INSTEAD OF THE HUNTSMAN.”

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